


When the Rain Washes You Clean, You'll Know

by castles_and_crowns



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Based loosely on the making of Rumours by Fleetwood Mac, But some sweet moments in between, Exes, F/M, Finn and Poe are exes, Fleetwood Mac, Fleetwood Mac References, Getting Back Together, HEA, It's all very incestuous, No Pregnancy, Rey and Rose are besties, Rey/Poe VERYYYY briefly, Rumours, Rumours AU, Side ship: Rose/Finn, There's just a lot of feelings go around, breaking up, but not like that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26887456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castles_and_crowns/pseuds/castles_and_crowns
Summary: Rey Niima and Ben Solo, partners both on and off the stage, have just finished a wildly successful world tour. They should feel on top of the world, but when Ben proposes and Rey turns him down, they find themselves at an impasse. Despite the end of their personal relationship, they still must maintain a professional one, so at the insistence of their music producer, Rey and Ben, along with bandmates Finn, Rose, and Poe, attempt to put aside their personal pain and focus on making new music. It goes just as well as you'd expect.***Or, a Fleetwood Mac/Rumours AU, featuring Rey as Stevie Nicks and Ben as Lindsey Buckingham.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, See tags for additional info
Comments: 33
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my Fleetwood Mac/Rumours AU. 
> 
> If you're not familiar with Rumours, it is an album by Fleetwood Mac that was written when the band was going through extreme interpersonal turmoil. They were all basically going through break ups (most were breaking up with each other) and entering new relationships, so a lot of their songs are about each other, which in my opinion, is absolutely delicious.
> 
> While I will cover Finn/Rose, this is still primarily a Reylo fic, and, thus, will only be told from their POVs.
> 
> ***The relationship tags are the end game relationships. I've put additional relationship tags under the additional tags. If someone feels like this is unclear or sees this as a problem, please feel free to let me know.

**_Star Crossed lovers seen having tense exchange at L.A. restaurant!_ **

**_Are Star Crossed husbands Finn Storm and Poe Dameron splitting up?_ **

**_Rose Tico returns home to husband’s infidelity! More on page 8!_ **

**_Will personal problems be the end of harmonious musical relationship for Star Crossed?_ **

***

**1 Week Earlier**

Rey Niima barely leaves the house the first few weeks after her first world tour. She’d been so exhausted from all the working and traveling that she’s perfectly happy to remain inside her and her boyfriend’s cozy, secluded Silver Lake bungalow, oftentimes not wearing more than her panties and one of his t-shirts. Lucky for her, Rey’s boyfriend Ben Solo, who also happens to be one of her bandmates, happens to feel the exact same way, usually not bothering to put on more than boxers and _occasionally_ a shirt. And though they have not seen their other three bandmates since the tour ended, Rey suspects that they too are enjoying some much needed R&R.

For the first weeks after the tour, Rey and Ben are both content with sleeping in, swimming in the backyard pool, binging all the TV shows they’d missed, and, of course, ample fooling around--something that had been quite difficult to do on a tour bus. Occasionally, Ben picks up one of his guitars and they’ll play around with song ideas for a few hours, but it’s always just for fun, not for work. It feels just like it had before they’d _made it_ , back when they’d lived in a small studio apartment less than a quarter of the size of their current bungalow and had spent all their free time messing around and writing songs without any real deadline or expectation from outside sources. Their only goal had been to make good music that they could be proud of.

She’d met Ben at an open mic night celebrating 60s music. He’d been the first performer of the night, had confidently carried his guitar up on the stage, and plucked away at the most enchanting acoustic version of _California Dreamin_ ’ by The Mamas & The Papas. She’d been a few performers after him and had chosen Joni Mitchell’s _Both Sides, Now._ Not being able to play an instrument, she’d sung it a cappella. Or at least, she’d started to until she’d met Ben’s golden brown eyes in the crowd. They’d shared a look, and suddenly it was like they were communicating telepathically. Without missing a beat, Ben brought his guitar up on the stage, took a spot on the stool behind where Rey was standing, and accompanied her through the rest of the song. They’d be inseparable from that moment on, both realizing that their chemistry both on and off stage was something special that could hopefully be capitalized on. 

Ben was acutely aware of the inner workings of the music business, his parents and uncle being a part of the famous musical trio, Solo and the Twins. But he was determined to make it on his own, refusing to utilize his family’s vast musical connections. Rey had admired him for that, and it made it all the more sweet when they’d finally gotten signed to a small independent label and put out their self-titled studio album, _Solo and Niima._ Unfortunately, their label went under shortly after the release of their album, and Rey and Ben were once again musically homeless. That was, until Ben’s childhood friend had called with a proposition for Ben.

Poe Dameron, drummer of the mildly successful folksy pop band Star Crossed, had lost his lead guitarist and wanted to know if Ben wanted to join the band. Ben had been hesitant for two reasons: one, because Poe was signed to his uncle’s label and though Ben got along with his family well enough, up until this point he had prided himself in not using his family’s resources to become successful. 

The second reason was because he and Rey were a package deal.

Rey had been right beside Ben in their tiny kitchen when he’d told Poe that over the phone.

“There’s no me without her,” he’d said resolutely, and Rey felt such a surge of affection for him in that moment.

“We already have a female singer. And she’s great,” Poe had replied.

“Well, it’s either both of us or neither of us,” he’d said. “We’re a package deal.”

She’d heard Poe sigh and tell Ben he’d have to discuss with the other members of the band.

After the phone call, Rey had plopped on top of the counter that Ben was leaning against, turned him away from her, and began massaging his shoulders. She could clearly see how tense the conversation had made him, and, of course, she’d wanted to do her part in relieving that.

“I meant it, Rey,” he said, his voice low and a little gravelly as she dug into his upper back with her fingers. “I’m not joining them without you.”

“Thank you,” she’d replied, as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. And then in his ear, she’d whispered, “But I think if they accept your proposal, we should take it. I’ve heard their sound, Ben. They’re good. And I think we’d blend well with them.”

Ben had been quiet for a moment before turning and pecking her on the lips. 

“Okay,” he’d said, smiling. “If they agree, we’ll join.”

Poe had called back two days later, offering them both spots in the band, and just like that, Star Crossed got a new guitarist _and_ two new singers.

Rey and Ben had immediately clicked with the other three members of Star Crossed. Rose Tico, their lead singer, graciously welcomed both singer-songwriters into the group. She and Rey bonded instantly, their voices and song-writing styles differing enough that they each brought unique qualities to the band and managed to avoid any competition. And the two men in the group, Poe and the bassist Finn Storm, both easily accepted Ben, neither participating in any obnoxious pissing contests with him.

The five musicians got straight to work in the studio, and a month later, they had finished recording an album, which quickly got more attention than _Solo and Niima_ or any of the Star Crossed albums before it had. The fans, too, welcomed Ben and Rey into the group, and Rey felt like _this_ was where she was meant to be. On stage with fantastic bandmates who had become great friends, singing songs that filled stadiums. Their world tour was grueling, sure, but Rey wouldn’t have changed it for the world. At the same time, she is happy to be home and have some time off with Ben.

Finally, after three weeks of almost complete seclusion in the bungalow, Ben suggests they go out.

“How do you feel about eating out tonight?” he asks as he swims lazy laps in their backyard pool.

Sunbathing poolside, Rey looks up from the journal she’d been writing in. She carried that beat up journal everywhere because she never knew when she’d be inspired, and she’d been both scribbling in the journal and occasionally admiring her _wet_ , shirtless boyfriend when he’d suggested dinner.

“You mean you want to leave our safe haven?” she asks, pulling her sunglasses down her nose.

Drops of water fall from his long black locks onto his bare shoulders as he shrugs.

“Just for dinner,” he responds, and it’s said so casually that it should have set off alarm bells but doesn’t.

She happily agrees, and so they get dressed up, and Ben makes reservations for a table in the back of a nice but discreet restaurant on the outskirts of L.A.

“Okay,” Rey admits, after taking a sip from her wine glass. “I’ll admit, this is really nice. I’m glad you suggested it.”

Ben grins that wide smile he seems to reserve just for her, and his dimples momentarily distract her.

“I’m glad you think so, Rey, because I want tonight to be special.”

“Huh?” she asks, blinking back to reality and meeting his eyes once more.

“I said I wanted tonight to be special.”

“Every day with you is special, Ben,” she replies, a bit cheekily but also fully meaning it.

He chuckles a little and then reaches across the table for her hand with one hand while reaching for his pocket with the other.

“I feel the same way,” he says, his eyes sparkling. “Every day with you _is_ special, which is why I wanted to ask you something important, Rey.”

From his pocket, Ben pulls a small velvet box in a shade of deep purple. He lets go of her hand for just a moment to open the box before once again taking her hand. Rey’s attention goes to what's clearly an engagement ring resting inside the box. It's a solitaire diamond of moderate size with a thin yellow gold band, and it perfectly matches the gold “R” necklace Ben bought for her after the release of _Solo and Niima._

Looking back on it, Rey is completely mystified as to how she didn’t see it coming, but the next words out of his mouth combined with the ring set before her are so shocking and so sobering, it’s like the bucket of ice the wine has been sitting in has been dumped on top of her head.

“Rey, sweetheart, will you marry me?”

“ _What?_ ”

Her voice is a whispered shriek, and clearly it’s not the reaction Ben had been expecting based on his wide eyes and frowning face.

“I--I asked if you’d marry me. If you’d be my wife,” he says, letting go of her hand once more and picking up the velvet box clearly trying to remain composed.

“Ben,” she starts, her voice low but near frantic. “When have we _ever_ discussed marriage?”

Apparently, he doesn’t like this answer because he squares his shoulders as his frown deepens into a full scowl. It’s the same look he gets with her on the rare occasion when they argue while making music together. He’s preparing for a fight.

“We always talkabout spending the rest of our lives together.”

“Yeah, but never _marriage_!”

The last word is nearly shouted, and she immediately shrinks in her seat after realizing she’s been louder than she’d like.

“So...so what? You love me, you want to spend your life with me, but you don’t want to marry me?”

Rey swallows the lump that has suddenly formed in her throat.

“Are you going to answer?”

“Marriage is just not something I can do, Ben. It’s not a commitment I can make,” she whispers, her voice earnest and pained.

“Not a commitment you can make…” he repeats, incredulous. “I don’t...I don’t get it.”

And just as his voice had gone rough with anger moments before, just as quickly he deflates entirely.

“It’s not something I want,” she clarifies. “I’m sorry.”

He’s long let go of her hand and now he sits back in his chair and crosses his arms against his chest. “So, what? What does this mean?”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” she answers cautiously. “I still want to be with you.”

“But you don’t want to get married.”

He says it not as a question of clarification but as a fact.

“No, I don’t want to get married.”

They don’t make it through dinner, and that night Rey checks into a hotel.

***

When Rey calls her bandmate Rose Tico the next day to see if she can crash in her guest room for a few days, she learns that Rose too is going through an intense breakup. She and her non-show business husband are apparently getting a divorce after she came from the tour to find him cheating on her.

“I wish you would have called me earlier,” Rey tells Rose as Rose opens the door to her house and welcomes Rey in with a hug. “I would have been there for you.”

“My sister came for a few weeks and kept me company,” Rose responds, seeming surprisingly nonchalant. “I’m doing much better now.” Rose leads Rey through her house and to her guest room. Turning around, she adds, “And apparently, it’s not just me and it’s not just you and Ben. I got a text from Poe this morning. He and Finn are divorcing too.”

“ _You’re kidding!”_ Rey gasps.

Rose nods gravely as she sits on the guest bed. “Apparently, they’ve been drifting apart for awhile.”

“They were just on tour together for nine months.”

“I guess _emotionally_ they’d drifted apart,” Rose says. “I’m not sure of the details, but it just sort of sounded like they fell out of love.”

“Damn,” Rey winces, as she places her suitcase beside Rose on the bed and opens it to start unpacking.

“Have you been writing?” Rose asks after a few moments.

“Yeah,” she answers, turning away from the closet to look at Rose. “I’ve almost filled up another journal. You?”

Rose sighs and turns on her back, staring up at the sealing. “Thank God for that. I’ve been almost completely blocked since Daniel left. I thought heartbreak was supposed to be fodder for songwriting, but I’m practically empty.”

“Well, between my heartbreak, Ben’s heartbreak, your heartbreak, _and_ Finn and Poe’s heartbreaks, we’re bound to write _something_ good, right?”

Just then she pulls a t-shirt out of her suitcase. She had apparently stuffed it inside by accident because it’s one of Ben’s. Tears immediately burn her eyes as she holds it up and fights the urge to smell it.

“Hopefully,” Rose says, answering her question. “I just can’t stand the thought of all of this destroying the band. Not after all the hard-earned success we’ve just had.”

Rey chooses to put the t-shirt back into the suitcase. 

“It won’t,” she says with as much confidence as she can muster. "It won't."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Gqw4jomXWr7tKP7KP63zx?si=lzuk5K2IQT6YVDHcNkMp9g)
> 
> I fought off posting this for a week, but when all you do is go to work and come home and sleep, you want that serotonin boost that comes from instant gratification, which is why I'm posting this chapter with only an outline and two and a half chapters written. My primary focus is still my other WIP, Falling For Me, but I hope to have semi-regular updates for this one too.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/castles_crowns) and/or [Tumblr!](https://castles-and-crowns.tumblr.com)
> 
>   
> -During the making of Rumours, Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks (our Reylo equivalent) were breaking up. At the same time Christine and John McVie were divorcing. Mick Fleetwood had also recently gone through a breakup/divorce, I believe.  
> -Apparently, Lindsey and Stevie met at a party where they sang "California Dreamin'" together  
> -I've been WAITING for an opportunity to have Rey sing, "Both Sides, Now."
> 
> Up next: a band meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Star Crossed drummer seen leaving bar with GQ model! Pictures on page 11!_ **

**_Is lead guitarist of Star Crossed taking after father? Entering rehab? Here’s what our sources say!_ **

**_Rey Niima and Rose Tico, the ladies of Star Crossed, are now living together! Are they the newest Star Crossed relationship?_ **

**_Rumors abound that bassist Finn Storm is leaving Star Crossed! More inside!_ **

Ben’s uncle, while owning the record label to which Star Crossed currently belongs, has also never really cared about  _ running  _ a record label; he’d prefer to leave that up to others. Instead his uncle, who never really left his hippie phase from the 60s and early 70s, much prefers being in the studio and helping groups  _ make  _ music. 

And most of the time, Ben supposes that making music involves at least some civility. So, on one hand, Ben understands why his uncle called this band meeting. It’s important for the members of Star Crossed to be on the same page since they’re about to start recording a new album. But on the other hand, Ben really doesn’t know if he can handle seeing Rey so soon, just as he’s fairly certain Poe and Finn don’t want to be around each other right now. Hell, Rose probably doesn’t want to be there, stuck in the middle of two broken up couples while going through her own break up as well.

When he gets to his Uncle Luke’s house in Westwood, Finn is already there in the living room talking with Luke. When Ben walks into the room--decorated floor to ceiling with album posters, gold and platinum records, and award trophies--the two men turn to greet him.

The look on Luke’s face is sympathetic, which drives Ben nuts, but thankfully, the only expression on Finn’s face is one of understanding.

After a quick hug hello, Luke excuses himself for a moment to let the two men catch up.

“How are you holding up?” Ben asks Finn, as he makes himself comfortable in a chair in the corner of the spacious living room.

Finn sighs. “Some days are better than others. You?”

Ben nods knowingly. “Same.”

“I know deep down that this was the right thing. We just aren’t the same people we were when we fell in love, and we started to want different things from the marriage. Despite that, the love is still there, you know? It’s just transitioned into a different kind, but because there’s still love, it hurts.”

“Yeah. My problem is I'm still fucking in love with her. She’s just…” he trails off on a groan, but Finn still seems to understand.

Before they have any more chance to commiserate, Ben hears the front door open and three familiar voices come through.

The rest of the band has arrived.

Ben and Finn share one last look, one of dread, and both stand from their seats to welcome their bandmates, and Luke too reappears from wherever he had gone off to.

The only member of the band without an ex in the room, Rose, moves forward first, going to hug Finn and then Ben. Poe and Rey follow behind her, giving hugs hello to Luke before awkwardly turning to their respective exes. Ben sees Finn and Poe engage in a very brief, very stiff embrace out of the corner of his eye before turning his full attention back to Rey.

“Hi,” he says softly, trying  _ not  _ to drink her in with his eyes. It’s the longest he’s gone without seeing her since they met four years prior and all he wants is to unabashedly gaze at her to make up for the time he’s lost.

“Hey,” she greets just as softly. She opens her arms then and Ben steps in her embrace. The hug is brief, but thankfully not stiff, and they’re both smiling tentatively when they step back, something Ben considers a good sign, at the very least for the professional relationship.

Speaking of professional relationships, Luke claps his hands together, calling the five members of Star Crossed to order and gesturing for them all to sit on his couches and chairs. Unsurprisingly, the seating arrangement takes a minute to figure out. Rey and Rose sit together on the loveseat, and while Ben had originally taken up residence in the chair in the corner of the room, he can very clearly see the awkwardness between Poe and Finn as they both realize they’re going to have to share a couch, so he stands from his previous spot and wordlessly goes to the couch. It’s obvious to everyone in the room what he’s doing, but no one comments on it, as he sits down beside Finn while Poe then takes Ben’s old spot in the corner instead.

“Thank you all for coming today,” Luke starts. “As I alluded to in my texts and emails to you all, I wanted to have this meeting to discuss the upcoming recording of the next album as well as discuss expectations. It doesn’t escape my awareness that the last month or two has been extremely difficult for all of you, and believe me, I am sympathetic to it all. I have been in this business a long time and have witnessed many a heart-wrenching breakup.”

At the b-word, all five members of the band tense. It’s out in the open now and tension sufuses the air.

“But I’m going to take the fact that you are all here and that you haven't yet killed each other as a good sign that you all want to continue on making great music together.”

Luke pauses as he waits for some confirmation, and slowly all five bandmates nod or mumble  _ yes _ .

“Wonderful,” Luke says. “Now, with that in mind, I have a proposition. I have an old friend of mine, Ben Kenobi, who has a recording studio on a ranch in rural Wyoming. I’ve asked him if we can write and record there for a few months. I think it would be good for the five of you to get out of L.A. and focus on the music. There’s too many distractions here, and you know better than I do how bad the paparazzi and the tabloids have been recently.”

There’s a collective groan among the five of them. Nearly every week some gossip rag or online celebrity news source features some rumor about at least one of them, and while some of the rumors are 100% true, others, like Ben entering rehab or Rey and Rose becoming lovers, are just preposterous.

“I think that sounds like an amazing idea, Luke,” Rose says.

“Yeah,” Finn agrees. “It’ll be nice to get away from everything.”

“Ben? Rey? Poe? You agree?” Luke asks, his blue eyes jumping to the remaining members.

“That could be nice,” Rey concedes, glancing shyly at Ben.

Ben nods. “Yeah, I’m fine with that.”

“Me too,” Poe jumps in. “I’ve never been on a ranch before.”

“Han, Leia, and I recorded our final album there. It’s a fantastic place for creativity, and I’m confident you will think so too. Now, one last thing: I understand that art and life mix, which will inevitably lead to some rough moments that I think you all should prepare yourselves for, but all I ask is for civility. Do you think you can promise me that?”

Once more, there is a mixed chorus of nods and mumbled confirmations. 

Just as he had when he’d called the meeting to order, Luke claps his hands together.

“Fantastic. So, I’ll see you all in a month in Wyoming.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was more or less of a transition chapter. Next chapter will likely be out sometime in November. I wrote it but then decided it needed to be rewritten, so it'll take a sec.
> 
> -Fleetwood Mac mostly recorded Rumours in Sausalito, California, which is near San Francisco  
> -I got the idea for a Wyoming ranch from Kanye West, who apparently owns a ranch there and I'm pretty sure records there sometimes as well. Really, I just wanted them to be out in the middle of nowhere with each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Star Crossed heads to Wyoming to record next album! See the aerial pics of the secluded ranch!_ **

**_Why did Finn Storm leave Poe Dameron? Click here for the inside scoop!_ **

**_Sources say Rey Niima and Ben Solo can’t even look at each other. Can Star Crossed survive?_ **

**_Mistress of Rose Tico’s husband speaks out: I didn’t know he was married!_ **

  
***

“Well, let’s see what you’ve brought to the table so far,” Luke prompts a month later as they all gather at the ranch for their first day of workshopping.

Rey, who had grown up in the middle of nowhere, has to admit she wasn’t particularly thrilled about returning to another middle of nowhere to do nothing but work on an album, but after having the morning to explore the ranch, she finds that it’s surprisingly nice place that might actually be good for her artistry. 

The ranch is two separate buildings, a main house, which is both cozy enough to feel like an actual lived-in home and large enough for all of them to have their own rooms, and a decent-sized barn, where the studio is located. Additionally, there is a small pool with a jacuzzi out in the back, which Rey fully intends on taking advantage of on the late nights when her insomnia hits hard.

She hasn’t slept well since her breakup with Ben. Frankly, she’s just not used to sleeping alone anymore. She and Ben had shared a bed for four years, almost always holding each other close through the night, and now to try to sleep alone...well, it’s agonizing. Admittedly though, the sleepless nights have been good for her creativity. In the two months since their break up, she’s managed to fill up an entire journal with thoughts she thinks she can turn into lyrics.

“I haven’t got much that’s fully formed yet,” Ben says first, eyes darting between all of his bandmates, except Rey. 

He’d been cordial to her when they’d all first arrived on the ranch earlier this morning, but he still seems to politely avoid her when he can. It hurts, but it could be worse. They could be Finn and Poe, who Rey is nearly certain haven’t yet directly acknowledged each other's presence. It definitely strikes Rey as peculiar because they’d at least  _ greeted  _ each other last month at Luke’s.

“But I did write this one song that I think is mostly done. It just needs the rest of the band’s touch.”

“Well, let’s hear it,” Poe encourages, as he leans back on the beat up orange sofa he’s sharing with Rose.

Ben picks up the guitar that had been resting by his side. He adjusts it on his lap and his fingers--he’s always played with his fingers, something that for some reason Rey found insanely sexy--begin vamping on the guitar, building up to something before exploding into a folksy tune. He hums a melody line as he continues to play, and Rey can’t help but tap her foot along with his strumming. It’s insanely catchy and upbeat, something she finds encouraging, because surely a song this upbeat can’t be about heartbreak or pain.

When he’s done, Luke frowns and says, “It’s a catchy tune, for sure. You said it’s mostly done? Do you have lyrics yet?”

His eyes don’t look up to meet his uncle’s; instead, they stay resolutely on his guitar.

“I do,” Ben mutters. 

“Well, can we hear them?” Luke prods.

It’s  _ then  _ that Ben’s eyes look up and meet Rey’s. He winces guiltily, and Rey’s heart sinks like stone as her hopes are dashed because she knows exactly what’s about to come.

Once again, Ben begins vamping on the guitar before breaking into the lyrics.

_ “I know there's nothing to say _

_ Someone has taken my place _

_ When times go bad _

_ When times go rough _

_ Won't you lay me down in tall grass _

_ And let me do my stuff!” _

For a moment, she manages to let out an infinitesimal sigh of relief. These lyrics can’t specifically apply to her or their situation, so maybe the song is meant to be more general. The second verse proves to be just as general, and Rey relaxes enough to allow the musical part of her mind to begin brainstorming how she can maybe contribute to the song. But then, he starts on the third verse:

“ _ One thing I think you should know _

_ I ain't gonna miss you when you go _

_ Been down so long _

_ I've been tossed around enough _

_ Aw, couldn't you just _

_ Let me go down and do my stuff.” _

His golden brown eyes burn with emotion as he stares down at his guitar and continues, 

_ “I know you're hopin' to find _

_ Someone who's gonna give you piece of mind _

_ When times go bad _

_ When times go rough _

_ Won't you lay me down in tall grass _

_ And let me do my stuff.” _

He finishes off by repeatedly singing, “ _ I’m just second hand news, I’m just second news _ ,” and when he’s finally done, he releases a shaky sigh and looks up at his uncle.

“That’s it,” he states, and he sounds like singing that song was great emotional labor for him.

“Well, I, for one, loved it. What do we think, gang?”

It’s a very good song, Rey knows. She also knows that the others are bound to feel the same way. And yet, none of them immediately speak up, and Rey realizes it’s likely because they don’t want to offend her.

_ We’re not going to get any music made this way _ , Rey frustratedly thinks to herself.

Knowing what she has to do to get the ball rolling, she says, “It’s fantastic, Ben. I’m already imagining it with all the works.”

Ben’s lips curve into the smallest smile, and he seems infinitely relieved by her words.

One by one, the others speak up, complimenting the song and offering what they think they could contribute to it. Rey sees Luke standing off to the side, grinning happily as the five of them collaborate. Poe gets up and goes to sit up at his drum set while Finn grabs his bass, and Rey and Rose agree to come in on harmonies. Ben starts the song from the beginning again, and this time knowing what’s coming, Rey has to block out the words completely and just focus on the sound, which sounds even better with the additional instruments and the harmonization she and Rose add to the end.

“I’m impressed, guys. It’s still a little rough, of course, and I definitely would like to play with the sound a little more, but I think you’ve got a great song on your hands,” Luke says, stepping forward once more. “Now, who else has something?”

Rey pulls her journal out of her satchel. “I have something.”

Naturally, she doesn’t have any music to go with her lyrics, just a rough idea of how the words are to be sung. When she’d been with Ben, this hadn’t been a problem. She’d been able to express to him how she wanted the song to sound, and he’d pluck away at his guitar until he’d found it for her.

But now she’s all on her own, and despite being surrounded by good friends who know exactly what it’s like to open yourself up and be vulnerable when you’re making music, she’s still nervous to share her contribution with them. Of course, that might also have to do with how intensely Ben’s watching her, though he’s trying to be subtle based on the way his gaze jumps to the wall the second she looks his way.

“Okay,” she says, chuckling nervously as she finds the page in her journal with the lyrics she wrote by moonlight one night a few weeks ago when she couldn’t sleep. She’s got tons of material, but these words came to her nearly fully formed. “Here’s what I got.”

She hands her journal to Poe. He takes a few moments to read what she’s written before handing the journal to Rose, who reads the lyrics with a thoughtful smile. Rose passes the journal to Finn, whose dark eyes skim the two pages. Finn then hands the book to Ben, who remains expressionless as he reads the words she poured her soul into:

_ Now here you go again _

_ You say you want your freedom _

_ Well, who am I to keep you down _

_ It's only right that you should _

_ Play the way you feel it _

_ But listen carefully _

_ To the sound of your loneliness _

_ Like a heartbeat drives you mad _

_ In the stillness of remembering what you had _

_ And what you lost _

_ And what you had _

_ And what you lost _

_ Thunder only happens when it's rainin' _

_ Players only love you when they're playin' _

_ Say women, they will come and they will go _

_ When the rain washes you clean, you'll know _

_ You'll know. _

Ben finally looks up at the journal, his expression changing from blank to stormy, though he doesn’t direct it at her; instead, he chooses to stare off at some spot to the side of her head.

Rey bites her lip. “It needs more, I know. I want to write another verse, but I--”

“I love it, Rey,” Rose compliments sincerely.

“Thank you, Rose,” Rey says, allowing a little bit of relief to seep into her veins. She then chances a glance at Ben who still looks... _ very  _ unhappy.

“Excuse me a minute,” he says, getting up from where he’s sitting. He carefully places his guitar back against the wall and all but runs out of the studio.

“Shit,” Luke mutters, shaking his head.

“I can go--”

“I’ll go--”

Finn and Poe say simultaneously before stopping mid-sentence and finally looking at each other.

“No, I should,” Rey tells them both.

“Rey, maybe he does just need a minute?” Luke suggests, sounding very apprehensive.

“No, he’s mad at me. I can tell. And we’ll never get anything else done while he’s angry.” She looks at the other members of the band. “You know how he can be.”

They all nod grimly, and she then excuses herself and exits the studio. It takes absolutely no searching to find Ben. He’s under the shade of a massive tree, leaning against the trunk and smoking a cigarette. The dry summer wind is blowing through his hair, and for a moment, Rey thinks he looks like a bonafide rockstar with his Raybans, brown leather jacket, cigarettes, and good hair.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she says in a voice that’s neither a whisper or a yell but certainly loud enough for him to hear.

She marches up to him and asks, “Since when have you started smoking again?”

She does allow hers elf a little bit of satisfaction at the guilty look on his face. He tosses the cigarette on the ground and crushes it with the toe of his Chucks.

“Sorry, I know you hate it,” he grumbles.

“It’s not about me, Ben, it’s about…” She shakes her head. No, that’s all beside the point of why she came out here. Fixing him with a stern expression, she pivots, “You’re mad at me.”

“Mad at you?”

“About the song,” she clarifies though she knows she doesn’t have to. They both know why he’s out here.

“It’s a good song,” he says weakly, eyes drifting from hers to look over her shoulder.

“But you didn’t like it. It upset you.”

He huffs out a mirthless laugh. “Well, it wasn’t  _ true _ .”

“Huh?”

“That stuff about wanting freedom. That wasn’t me.”

Rey groans. “Not every line is about  _ you _ , Ben.”

Ben scoffs.

“It’s a song,” she soldiers on, ignoring his scoffing. “They’re just words. Some of them are personal, yes, but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily about you.” In a lower voice, she adds, “Ever consider that some of them are about  _ me _ ?”

He doesn’t respond, just remains pouty as he continues to lean against the tree, though at her words, Rey can see something change in his eyes.

“It’s not like I didn’t take your lyrics back there personally, but this is never going to work if we all storm out every time someone sings something that hurts one of our feelings.”

Ben runs a hand through his long black hair--the hair  _ Rey  _ used to savor running  _ her  _ hands through--and sighs in what sounds like defeat.

“Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” 

She wants to reach out and touch him, to gently pat him on the arm, but instead, she turns to head back into the studio. But then Ben speaks again:

“It wasn’t just the lyrics though.”

She pauses and turns back around.

“What?”

He shakes his head and pushes himself off the tree.

“Nevermind,” he sighs, already making his way past her.

She reaches out and grabs his arm. He stills but doesn’t turn around.

“No, wait. Tell me what you mean.”

“Forget it, Rey. This is already hard enough. I really don’t want to hash out our feelings _ outside  _ the studio when we’re already doing it inside.”

He shrugs off her grip then and continues making his way back to the studio.

***

Poe and Ben are not particularly enthusiastic about the song-in-progress that Rose shares with the group.

“Look,” Ben says, “If you just take out the ‘daddy’ part, I think it could work really well.”

Rose frowns and crosses her arms against her chest from where she sits at the piano, having just played them a rough version of a song she wrote called  _ Oh, Daddy _ .

“I  _ like  _ that part.”

Poe snorts and elbows Ben. “I think she has a daddy kink.”

“Shut the fuck up, Poe,” Finn snaps at his ex-husband. “It was a good song.”

Poe’s lip curls, and Rey has a feeling things could get nasty if Luke doesn’t step in.

“I’m not saying it’s  _ not _ . The daddy part is just weird. I mean, Ben agrees with me.”

Poe looks at Ben again, but Ben clearly doesn’t want to be a part of this argument anymore than he initially was.

“The daddy part stays,” Rose states, resolute in her opinion. “It’s part of the mood of the song.”

“I agree,” Luke says, finally injecting his voice into the conversation. “I think we could make this song work.”

It’s not the glowing praise he’d given Rey or Ben, and it’s obvious that Rose realizes that. She steps away from the piano, defeat sinking into her face. 

“I know it’s not my best. I’ve just been feeling so  _ blocked  _ lately.”

She rubs at her eyes, and  _ damn,  _ it’s been an emotional day for everyone, hasn’t it?

Luke must think so too.

“Let’s take a lunch break. Come back in an hour or so. I want to try something with some old tracks I found.”

Ben stands first and looks around the room. Somewhat tentatively, he says, “I saw a pizza place a couple miles down the road when the taxi was bringing me here. Anyone interested?”

As if things couldn’t get more awkward, both Finn and Poe say, “I am.”

Their heads snap to one another and then they immediately look away.

“Maybe I’ll just stay and have a sandwich,” Finn says, before looking at Rose and Rey, his eyes asking for one or both of them to stay with him.

Rose comes to his rescue immediately. “A sandwich sounds great. What do you think, Rey?”

Rey shrugs nonchalantly, like they’re not all having unspoken conversations with their eyes. “Works for me.”

Rey sees Poe roll his eyes before tapping Ben on the shoulder and walking out the door. Ben casts a somewhat guilty glance around the room at the three remaining band members before following Poe out the door.

***

When she, Finn, and Rose return to the studio, Luke is at the soundboard. A stripped down tune plays, and though Rey doesn’t recognize it, Rose and Finn clearly do.

“We’re returning to this?” Finn says, eyebrows raising.

“Apparently,” Rose responds, sounding intrigued.

“Poe and I wrote this while we were high one night a couple years ago,” he turns to explain to Rey. 

“Snap thought it was useless, so we never did anything with it.”

“Turns out, he was the useless one,” Rose says in regard to their old guitarist.

“Honestly, I’d completely forgotten about it until just now. I wonder what Luke has in mind.”

Suddenly, Rey recognizes some unproduced blues-sounding music that she and Ben had recorded in their old apartment but had never deemed good enough to take into the studio. 

Ben must have given the recordings to Luke at some point, she realizes.

Pieces of the blues motif are spliced with the simple tune from the old Star Crossed recording, and it doesn’t sound...completely dissonant.

“Wow,” a low, familiar voice behind her exclaims.

She turns around to see Ben and Poe behind her, taking in the sound. Poe’s expression is quizzical, like he’s not sure what to make of it, but Ben’s face shows something entirely different. His brow is furrowed in concentration like he’s listening for sounds that aren’t yet there, and Rey can actually see the wheels turning in his head.

After a moment, he shakes his head and lets out a reluctant chuckle. “Damn it, Luke is good.”

“You think this sounds good?” Poe asks.

“I think,” Ben replies, completely serious, “It has the potential to be game-changing.”

***

They table the three songs they’d presented earlier that day for the time being and spend the next three days working on the song Luke had started mixing together with old motifs and tunes from both Rey and Ben and Star Crossed.

With neither Finn nor Poe being lyricists and with Rose still feeling lyrically blocked, Rey and Ben wind up in a corner of the studio, each with pencils in their hand. Rey’s got her journal open to a blank page, while Ben’s working on a legal pad.

They manage to scribble down a short refrain that they’re both happy with, but when it comes to the verses, they start arguing. Rey shows him a couple lines she wrote in her journal and watches anxiously as his face scrunches up as he reads them out loud.

“ _ Slipped into the denseness of my emptiness _

_ I let teardrops fall, I let him go _

_ Stepped into the canyons of my loneliness _

_ And I went about as far as I could go.” _

He looks up from the journal and meets her eyes. Delicately, he says, “Denseness of my emptiness? I think that’s kind of... _ dense _ for the vibe we’re going for with this song.”

“It sounds good,” she argues.

He hesitates and then, “It doesn’t sound bad. But have you been keeping an ear out, listening to the sound the others are mixing together? It doesn’t fit.”

“How?”

“It’s a mouthful.”

“It’s not.”

“ _ It is _ . I mean, it’s pretty and maybe we can use it somewhere else, but I don’t think it fits here.”

“Okay,” she frowns as she crosses her arms. “What do you have to offer then?”

“I wrote the refrain!”

“ _ We  _ wrote the refrain.”

“And it was going so well for a moment,” he mutters, standing up and looking like he needs to go stand under another tree and smoke a stupid cigarette. 

She stands too. “Yeah, it was until you decided to be intentionally obstinate.”

He snorts. “Intentionally obstinate? Rey, please.”

He says it like he’s scolding a child, and Rey narrows her eyes, opening her mouth to full-on yell at him, but he sighs and holds his hands up in surrender before she gets the chance.

“Fine. Let’s keep your lyrics and keep writing. And then when we play what we have for everyone, we’ll see what they think.”

“Fine,” she snaps, collapsing into her chair in a huff.

“Fine,” he snaps right back, returning to his seat with much more dignity.

***

“Okay, let’s try out what we have,” Luke says, on the third day after a rough musical sound has been composed and a draft of lyrics have been completed. “I just want to hear how everything sounds together.”

Everyone gets settled with their instruments, with the exception of Rey who, of course, doesn’t play one, and when Luke gives the go-ahead, Ben starts plucking the old tune he wrote years ago on his guitar while Poe slowly starts in on the drums. There’s then a beat of silence before they dive in on the lyrics. 

Almost immediately, Rey knows Ben was right. As she sings, she finds herself tripping over the words, finding they just don’t mesh well __ with the sound they’ve created. While Rey’s lyrics are contemplative and, okay, maybe a little verbose, the sound of this song is both angsty and haunting. 

Luke stops them after one refrain.

“Guys, guys, stop,” he says, waving his hands. “This isn’t working.”

Though she knows he’s completely right, Rey’s face flushes with embarrassment and her eyes drop to the floor.

“Hey,” Ben says quietly enough that she knows whatever he’s going to say is meant only for her. “The lyrics are good. They just don’t fit with this song. I’m sorry if I was an ass about it earlier.”

She looks up from her shoes, sees the earnestness in his eyes, and can’t help but feel a rush of affection for him, despite their earlier argument.

“Thank you,” she whispers, before turning her attention back to Luke.

“Rey,” Luke says thoughtfully, scratching at his beard. “I want you to rework the lyrics. But instead of reworking them alone or just with Ben, I’d like for all five of you to try. Now, Finn, Poe--I know you’re not lyricists, and Rose, I know you said you’re struggling to put pen to paper right now, but I think between the five of you, you might be able to come up with something unique.” 

They all sigh, which Luke graciously ignores.

“If I leave you all alone for a little while, do you think you can manage to not kill one another?”

Everyone lets out strained chuckles and nods. 

“Wonderful. I’ll be back in a couple hours.” He then looks each band member in the eye before adding, “ _ Behave. _ ”

He disappears from the studio and the five of them are left alone.

***

When Luke returns two and a half hours later, he finds the band in the middle of playing their new version of the song.

Ben watches Luke out of the corner of his eye as he plucks away at the guitar, and he can tell his uncle is impressed based on the knowing smirk on the older man’s face.

It had taken some time for the five of them to work as a cohesive unit without Luke there to guide them, but after about ten minutes of hemming and hawing, Rose appointed herself as their leader and they'd gotten to work like the well-oiled machine they used to be.

As the song drifts to the instrumental break, he catches Rey’s eye, and she flashes him a quick, encouraging smile. He knows her well enough to know she’s pleased with how the song was reworked as well.

The instrumental break picks up speed, becoming more frenetic, and he takes another glimpse at his uncle, whose eyebrows are now raised in surprise at the turn in the composition. 

They hadn’t just adjusted the lyrics; they’d reworked the whole song.

As Ben’s fingers fly across the guitar strings, creating a desperate sound, complemented by Poe’s drumming and Finn’s bass, the excitement in the room grows palpable between the five band members.

He, Rey, and Rose all burst back into the lyrics, matching their voices matching the intensity of their instruments, 

“ _ Chain, keep us together.” _

And Ben jumps in with an additional lyric, “ _ Running in the shadows _ .”

He doesn’t mean to sound angsty when he sings it, but it must catch Rey’s attention because he can feel her gaze turn to him, and God help him, he looks right back at her. Their eyes remain locked as they repeat, 

“ _ Chain, keep us together.” _

Again, Ben spits out, “ _ Running in the shadows.” _

There’s a mix of something terrible and thrilling as they continue to stare at each other throughout the end of the song. It hurts, yes, but there’s something about knowing that she’s just as affected by the words and the feelings they evoke.

Finally, when they’re done, Luke lets out a knowing chuckle and applauds for them.

“ _ That’s  _ what I was hoping for. Well done, you guys. Let’s call it a day and start tomorrow at ten. We’ll polish up the four songs we have so far, and maybe start some new ones.”

As they all file out of the barn, it doesn’t escape Ben’s notice that Finn and Rose break off from everyone else and head in the direction of Finn’s rental car. Clearly, it doesn’t escape Poe’s notice either based on the scoff he’s just let out.

“Guess they’re bosom buddies now,” he mutters to Rey and Ben, before marching off in the direction of the house and leaving Rey and Ben alone.

“You’re not going with them?” Ben asks, as they both start back for the house at a slower pace.

Rey shrugs. “It’s been a long couple of days. I just want to crawl in bed with a glass of wine tonight.”

He laughs a little and nods. “It _was_ a long couple days.” Then in a more serious tone, he adds, “I’m sorry about being an asshole, by the way. You were right. Making this album was never going to work as long as we kept getting angry every time the lyrics get personal. I think working on  _ The Chain _ the way we did really helped.”

“Why’s that?” Rey asks.

“Because we all had an equal hand in creating the song. We’ve never written a song like that before. This one is an expression of  _ all  _ of our pain, you know?”

“Yeah,” she says softly. “I think you’re right.”

Ben inwardly admits that it’s weird to be talking so bluntly about his pain to the person who caused it, but maybe that’s a good thing too. Maybe that signals progress. Maybe they can not only maintain a fulfilling professional relationship but a fulfilling personal one too, even if it’s not the type of personal relationship he’d always imagined with Rey.

They talk pleasantly throughout the walk back, chatting strictly about inconsequential things, until they reach the top of the staircase. By design--surely, Luke’s--their rooms have been put on opposite ends of the hallway, so this is where they part for the evening.

Ben wracks his brain for a reason to keep talking to her, to keep her there at the top of that old, rickety staircase for just a little while longer, but he knows that eventually, he’d have to let her go.

_ Eventually, you’ll have to let her go,  _ he reminds himself.

After an awkward but kind goodbye, Ben returns to his room where he spends half the night working and then reworking the lyrics to a new song.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Lindsey Buckingham plays without a guitar pick. (As someone who knows next to nothing about the guitar, for some reason I find that to be sexy. Or maybe I just find Lindsey Buckingham to be sexy? *shrugs*)  
> -As I'm sure most everyone knows, "Dreams" has has a resurgence, thanks to a [viral tiktok](https://www.yoursun.com/dreams-tik-tok-video/video_19c81e52-041c-11eb-9eaa-036488b6bc02.html)  
> -Christine McVie wrote "Oh, Daddy" about her bandmate Mick Fleetwood (whom she was never involved with and who WAS an actual father), although according to Wikipedia, some people believe the song may be about the guy she was seeing at the time.  
> -"The Chain" was spliced together with older pieces of music from the various band members. Originally, the lyrics to the verses were different (the demo version is on the playlist), and, in my opinion, not nearly as good. It's tied with "Go Your Own Way" for my favorite song on the album.
> 
> If you couldn't tell, I know basically nothing about what goes in to creating an album, other than the rudimentary research I've done. If anything comes off as glaringly inaccurate, please (kindly) let me know!
> 
> Please check out the updated [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Gqw4jomXWr7tKP7KP63zx?si=lzuk5K2IQT6YVDHcNkMp9g) for songs mentioned in the fic, along with some demo versions as well!
> 
> Next chapter will hopefully be up before the end of the month!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned!...three months later.
> 
> I'll admit to being completely blocked on this fic despite having the entire plot written out, which is why it took me so long to get this one out. I *think* I have a clearer idea of where I'm going next, which I'm excited about! Until then, please enjoy this mildly angsty chapter

**_Rumors abound at Wyoming ranch where Star Crossed records its new album! Click here to read more!_ **

**_Did Poe Dameron, drummer of Star Crossed, cheat on bandmate and husband, Finn Storm?_ **

**_Former roadie speaks out, says Ben Solo and Rey Niima have been on the rocks since their world tour!_ **

**_How is Rose Tico making it through her divorce? Here’s what our insiders say!_ **

  
  


“I’ve decided to bring in someone to help set the record straight on you guys,” Luke says one morning before they start for the day.

“Set the record straight?” Ben asks dubiously.

“On the rumors. At first I thought that the attention would be beneficial for Star Crossed, but the rumors have become more and more outlandish by the day, and ultimately, I think it could be hurtful to your brand. So, I’ve called up  _ Rolling Stone _ , and they’re interested in doing a short piece on the making of the album.”

“But we’ve only been at it a week,” Poe comments.

“And by the time Miss Netal gets here next week, you’ll have been at it for two.”

Rey stiffens. “Bazine Netal?”

She can feel Ben’s eyes on her from across the studio. Bazine Netal, junior music writer at  _ Rolling Stone _ , flirts shamelessly with Ben every time she sees him, whether that be during an interview or at an industry party.

“Yes, I’ve been told she’s very excited to spend a few days with you all.”

“A few days?” Finn groans.

Luke chuckles, only somewhat sympathetically. “Likely only two or three. Just enough to write a one page article. The hope is that she will get a glimpse into this process and then that will become the story. Not all these increasingly ridiculous rumors.”

The group lets out a collective sigh to which Luke responds with a dry chuckle.

“I promise it will be mostly painless.”

“Can we get that in writing?” Ben mutters.

***

Bazine Netal enters the studio the following week, her nude stilettos  _ clacking  _ on the wooden floors and announcing her arrival. The dark-haired beauty greets each member of Star Crossed with an air kiss, and Rey can’t help but notice how Bazine’s hand lingers on Ben’s bicep as she leans in to kiss the air beside his cheek.

“I’m so honored to have been invited into what I know is a very intimate setting,” she tells everyone.

They’re all still looking at her skeptically, and Rey nearly chuckles at the realization that it’s  _ Bazine  _ and her unwelcome presence that has them all on the same page.

“I want you all to think of me as a fly on the wall for most of the time I’m here. I’m here to observe, though I will also be interviewing you all, both as a group and individually. But we’ll save the interviews for the end of the day, so that you all can be productive and get to work.”

“Fantastic!” Luke exclaims, way too cheerfully before rallying them to start the day.

The day mostly consists of fine-tuning songs they’ve already written or songs they’re workshopping. Throughout the day, Rey’s eyes constantly fall on Bazine, who sits in a corner with a notebook, watching them keenly and scribbling down her observations. Part of her is curious to know what she’s writing down, but the other part doesn’t even want to because she knows it’s likely just going to make her mad.

Finally once the sun has set, the air outside has cooled, and Luke has called rehearsal for the day, Bazine requests to interview her first member of the band, Finn.

“I’d like to do it privately if the rest of you don’t mind,” she tells them. We can do it here, back at the house, or somewhere else. Wherever you’re most comfortable.”

“Let’s do it on the terrace out back,” Finn suggests neutrally, after a quick glance at Rose, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Poe, based on the small scoff he lets out. 

It’s clear that Bazine notices the scoff based on how her eyes sharpen and quickly shoot to Poe. Rey just knows she’s mentally writing the observation down right now.

***

“How was it?” Rey asks Finn early the next morning.

It’s early enough that the heat isn’t yet oppressive, and they’re able to indulge in something that had become somewhat of a habit for the two of them while they were on tour. Poe used to join them, while Ben and Rose spent most of their free mornings sleeping in, but, of course, Poe hasn’t been invited to continue this tradition in Wyoming.

“Invasive,” Finn huffs out. “Half her questions weren’t even about the music. They were about our ‘evolving group dynamic’ as she called it.”

“Lovely.”

They continue their jog in silence for a few minutes, and then Finn says, “She asked me about both Poe and Rose.”

Rey turns her head at that. It’s become increasingly obvious to her that Finn and Rose have  _ something  _ going on, though she and Finn haven’t yet talked about  _ what _ exactly that is. 

“And what did you say?”

“Barely anything. That shit’s personal.”

“I’m sure she hated that.”

“Yeah, I don't think she was too pleased, but tough luck. I sat down to do an interview so that the focus could go _back_ to the music."

As they turn the corner, jogging back to the main house so that they can shower before the session, Rey asks, “Do you want to tell me anything about what’s going on with you and Rose? You definitely don’t have to, but--”

“No, no, I will,” Finn answers, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. “I _want_ to tell you, and I trust you not to write an article about it."  Rey laughs, as Finn continues, "Truthfully, not much is going on yet. At least nothing concrete. It’s mostly just a lot of talking and cuddling right now. We’re taking it slow.”

Rey breaks out into a smile, happy for her two friends, who she knows had both been extremely heartbroken by their respective breakups.

“Good for you two,” she squeals, playfully shoving her friend’s shoulder as they continue their jog. "I'm excited for you."

“Yeah, except we’re figuring all of this out while I’m basically secluded here with Poe.”

Rey laughs. “True.”

***

After showering and changing, Rey heads to the barn, hoping to warm up her voice and maybe write some before they start for the day, but as enters, she freezes as sees Ben and Bazine on the other side of the glass window, sitting on that hideous orange couch and talking. Bazine’s notebook rests in her lap, while she reaches forward and, with an aggressively sympathetic face, squeezes Ben’s bicep and says something, which Rey obviously can’t make out.

_ Fuck. _

Her heart sinks into her stomach, and before she can see anything else, she rushes out of the barn and past Poe who is walking through the door.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he calls.

“Nothing,” she responds back, turning her head to answer him as her feet continue in the direction of the house.

“You sure?”

“Yep, I just gotta go back to the house for a sec.”

Rey locks herself in the small half-bathroom on the first floor once she reaches the main house. Her hands gip the counter and she takes a few centering breaths.

She just needs a few minutes, she tells herself, to process what she just saw. It’s natural to have these residual feelings; she was with Ben for years, after all. But he’s free now to do whatever he wants.  _ She _ was the one who ended things anyway.

And this is good anyway, right? It’s good for her writing; therefore, it's good for her and good for the band.

Yes, this is good.

At least, that's what she's going to keep telling herself.

***

“Hey,” Poe greets. He enters the innermost part of the studio just as Ben and Bazine are wrapping up their interview. 

_ Interview _ , Ben mentally scoffs. It was half interview, half Bazine shamelessly flirting with him, though frankly, Ben had expected that. It’s why he’d asked Bazine if he could do his interview early in the morning. He figured she’d be _less_ shameless then than she would be in the evening. 

He'd been wrong.

“Hey,” Ben and Bazine greet in union.

Poe gestures toward the door. “What happened with Rey?”

“What do you mean?”

“She just ran out of here, looking all upset.”

“Ran out of here?” Ben repeats. “Just now?”

“Right when I was walking in.”

Ben groans. “Shit.”

“Oh, no,” Bazine bemoans, her voice dripping with fake sincerity. “I hope she didn’t see us together and think…”

Ben rises from the couch. 

“That’s exactly what she thought,” he mutters, knowing now he has to go put out a fire or else the whole day is going to be a wash.

“Rey!” he calls as he enters the main house. “Rey!”

She doesn’t respond because of course she doesn’t, but his instinct takes him to the little bathroom off the main hall, as he suspects she likely wouldn’t have gone all the way up the stairs and back to her room.

His knuckles tap against the door and when no one answers, he tries the door, finding it locked.

“Rey, I know you’re in there.”

“I’m just freshening up,” she responds.

“I know you saw me and Bazine.”

There’s a beat of silence before she responds, “I don’t care about that.”

“Bullshit you don’t,” he answers. “I’m sorry if it upset you, but, Rey, like you said last week, “This is never going to work if we all get upset each time someone’s feelings get hurt.”

The door opens then, and he comes face to face with Rey, who aside from slightly reddened eyes, looks completely fine.

“You’re misconstruing my words actually. When I said that I was referring to us getting our feelings hurt during the music-making process which you and I both know can be very delicate. I was not referring to... _ that,”  _ she tells him flinging her arm in the direction of the barn. “But regardless, you’re free to do whatever you want with whatever you want with that. I don’t care.”

Ben stares at her, stunned for a moment at how defensive she is. When he doesn’t respond, she reiterates her previous point.

“I don’t care,” she shrugs before crossing her arm. Her eyes bore into his as if she’s daring him to challenge her.

“Right, of course,” he scoffs, turning on his heel and missing her swiping her hand against her cheeks.

He only realizes that he never actually set the record straight on him and Bazine when he's halfway back to the barn.

For a moment, he thinks about turning around, and as a common courtesy, clarifying his and Bazine's exchange this morning, but he quickly squashes that idea.

She's said she doesn't care. She's made her decision. She's gone her own way.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out the [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Gqw4jomXWr7tKP7KP63zx?si=lzuk5K2IQT6YVDHcNkMp9g) which has songs mentioned in this fic, Fleetwood Mac demos (also featured), and other songs used for inspiration. It will be updated with each chapter.


End file.
